being qaali

In a world that is constantly bombarding us with images of what ideal beauty is, in a world where we’re told to always hustle to get more, in a world that labels individuality “quirky”, “weird”, “other”…in a world as such no wonder so many people are struggling to ‘find happiness’.

Happiness isn’t something to be attained, it is something that is innate and can neither be given to you or found. It’s a spiritual awakening of sorts. It stems from the depths of you. Now growing up I wasn’t the most comfortable in my own body and I never truly felt that I was anything out of the ordinary. I was and very much still am a nerd, and I wear that with pride! However, what I began to realise in the past year is that we all have a reference point that we use for validation in our daily lives. Personally for me it was education and getting good grades, that was the constant in my life that I subconsciously defined myself with. Fast forward to a disastrous final year of university I was faced with failure for the first time, a shattered dream of medical school and all of sudden I didn’t know who I was anymore.

Now no matter what we portray on the outside, we all have this instinctual voice or sixth sense that pushes us towards our purpose. The problem comes when most of society has shut this voice off for so many years that we end up in a state of being lost. Not knowing what to do or just feeling hopeless. It’s not your fault to be honest, we’ve grown up in cages of expectations both self-imposed or imposed upon us by the people closest to us. Think about it, from when we are little kids we’re asked “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, we’re exposed to television shows that have the same demographic of people in them, we’re even subtly pushed to walking on a certain side of a subway platform. We are being nudged every single day of our lives and we don’t even know it.

One thing that I am eternally thankful for are my parents. My dad instilled in me this sense of strength and being able to stand up for what I believe in even if I’m the only person. My mother passed on to me her ability to be so self-sure of her place in the world and never apologising for being her own person (I’m still working on the former). These three things have always allowed me to stay in my own lane, I don’t particularly care for trends or fitting in and yet I’ve never had an issue with being an outcast and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that no matter what trials I’m going through in life and my pursuit of figuring this thing we call life out, I’ve always been me. There are no phases, nothing but me being real! So there are a few things that I have both observed and learnt so far (subject to change in a weeks time… joking…kinda)

1. Life is fleeting and to have to endure anything that you’re not comfortable with is the biggest waste of your time.
2. We are all winging it so stop being so hard on yourself. Our own parents are still trying to figure out the next stages of their lives. Life doesn’t come with a ‘How-to’ manual, you can’t google it. Just DIY it to your own imagination.
3. The energy that it takes for you to be someone you’re not, or to get people to like you, can be better used on you loving you. Know that you are enough as you are.
4. Which leads me to the MAJOR KEY…
   

   anyone who takes you for granted doesn’t deserve you. anyone who doesn’t like you can exit stage left and anyone who can’t respect you, doesn’t deserve an ounce of your energy or time

5. If you’re not comfortable doing it or if your gut is telling you no…Listen! Value your instincts.
6. Happiness comes with being content in the present. Not rethinking the past or wanting to control the future but realising that the here and now is the only thing you can proactively work on.
7. We don’t live to work.
8. Life is a personal journey, I don’t need people to know about what I’m doing but best believe that in due time, when I want, the world will know what I’ve been up to 😉

Remember that ultimately you woke up this morning, with your conscious alert and your senses in tune. That in itself is a miracle, so don’t overshadow your beauty with the nonsense they want you on. Be yourself from the soul that you’re stemming from. #beingqaali